Saturday, September 10, 2011

AN OPEN LETTER TO A DELHI BOY

Dear Delhi boy,

Namaskaram from the South of India, or as you may like to believe, the countries south of the Vindhyas. I came to your city 2 years ago with a brand new job and a bucketload of expectations. My friends and family here thought I was completely insane to choose Delhi over more female conducive cities like Bangalore or even Bombay. I am very sad to report that your reputation of being an ignorant, chauvinistic oaf with the intelligence levels of an autistic 3 year old on crack precedes you and it hurts me even more to admit to this rather accurate description.
Your reputation has travelled far and wide, to countries outside South India as well. And believe me man, it is not a pretty situation. I understand that your stone faded, ripped jeans, your V-neck cleavage showing t-shirts that reveal to the world that you have infact inherited your mother’s voluptuous shaved Punjabi bosom, are what you think maketh a man, but it does not. It only maketh for a man who gets a pity license to share his girlfriend’s bra. I write to you as a woman who has been brought up in a society free of any discrimination towards women so thanks to you, my living in Delhi is as safe as Hugh Hefner’s playmate of the year living in Jeddah.
You meet me at a friend’s birthday, talk to me about nightclubs and your new SUV and when I look like I’m in desperate need of a barf bag, you think I have an attitude problem. I understand this completely. But let me remind you that I am from SOUTH INDIA and not SOUTH DELHI, so no ,I am not scrawny, I am not fair, I don’t have straight hair and my topics of conversation go beyond the Fendi I saw in last month’s Vogue. I am olive-skinned, have lower –back-length lustrous cascading tresses that sometimes make me look like I fell out Jim Morrison’s tour bus. Got a problem with that? Well just suck it up coz I was born into a society where a woman can whoop your Punjabi patoutie to pulp. While your mother pretends to be very progressive but still cows down to the whims of her husband every single time, mine on the other hand was born into a matriarchal home where every single possession is in the rightful name of the girl child. Could you ever, my hunky handsome, cash throwing pig, imagine this kind of power in your society? So stop telling me that women are not treated like trash where you come from. Just shut up and admit to it. It’s just easier that way. And lest we forget that we’ve managed to curtail the number of rape cases despite not having a female Chief Minister. Amma ‘s body composition generates way too much heat for her get out of her AC room anyway, so don’t even bring that up.
And your English. Good Lord, what in the world is up with that? I don’t want you to ‘explain me’ anything. It’s like you need to go to primary school all over again. And call them your parents, not your ‘peerents’ or what your cooler, more happening brethren call them—‘mere mom-dad’. Like what are they? Conjoined twins? Are they joined at the hip? Your South India counterparts may not have your looks, but are way more mentally stimulating, a quality that eludes you obviously, but has been the single most sexy factor for us Southie chicks since the age of five. I mean once again, who can blame you? You were brought up on Gurdas Mann and the heroic deeds of Devinder Singh Bhullar and the ever so fair concepts such as elections in Phugwada while we mere ‘black-colour waale’ mortals had to make do with Bharatnatyam classes, M.S Subhalakshmi and chess. Shame no? And yes, if by a slight chance, you do find my big dancer eyes attractive enough for you to prolong our conversations and meetings and if by an even slighter chance you fall in love with me and decide to marry me, you will have to wear a mundu and you will have to lie prostrate shirtless at the Guruvayurappan temple. A small price to pay for all the genuine independence I am giving up for you. And that’s the real thing, not what you see the Delhi girls at LSR and Stephen’s doing during their fake as hell protest marches coz ultimately they’re going home to a family who’re putting together money for Bobby beta’s bail coz he just ran over his girlfriend’s ex, by mistake of course.
I understand that I come from the land of ugly. I mean obviously Hema Malini, Sri Devi and Aishwarya Rai with their natural banal looks don’t even hold a candle to Priyanka Chopra after her two nose jobs and one lip reconstruction surgery. Not a chance in hell. But when you do come to ask for my hand, remember I am part Maharashtrian and part South Indian and NO, they are not the same thing. So please tell your family, not to drop racist bombs like “Arey woh sab toh ‘Sawth’ ke hi hote hai na?” And YOU—don’t walk up to mother in an attempt to make flattering conversation and say shit like “Aunty you don’t look like a South Indian You are so fair” In return she will verbally Texas chainsaw massacre your face so badly, your dead Dadi will haunt you the very same night, telling you how fleeing Pakistan was less traumatic. So don’t. Better still just don’t speak. Just glean and flex your muscles a little and keep smiling. Just whatever you do, don’t talk.
You may not like our food, but then we don’t like you, which is worse. We may not be even that into food, but then that’s coz we have other things to do with our lives, like crack IIT or become writers, journalists, activists and do things that we are very passionate about. The South Indian woman has a voice and boy can she yell. So if you want to Sambhar ‘Chawl’ your way into my life, then you got to toe the line. Be way more aware than what your are. Remember Delhi is not a country and we are not Black. If I ever hear you utter that name of that colour, I will Kalaripayattu your tongue out of your rear. Yes , that is the secret behind our awesome sex ratio. Just so you know.
For someone who is so confident of his physical abilities you really suck at luring an intelligent woman. Don’t send me text messages that say ‘happy guru purab’, you freakshow and if you want to be cute with your ever so charming (not) Punjabi advances, then don’t send texts that say “Dil laye gayee kudi Madrraaas di”! NO. It’s just not cool man. I may have have missed on a lot in this letter, but that’s ok because you’ll forget to read it and even if you do , you’ll get your cousin Jassi from Defence Callonny to translate it for you. And this letter can’t go on forever like the Punjabi male ego.
So long my love, and here’s two steps of gidda just for you, just to show that I can be traditional and will not accidently kick your sister while doing so.
Love, hugs, kisses aka ‘muah’ (only I shall ‘muah’, you please don’t do anything coz you tend to forget that these are my lips and not a piece of Tandoori Chicken from Kakke- Da- Dhabba)

Yours
Madrasan
(Only I can call myself that. If you EVER call me by this name, I will shove so many coconuts down your system that your little saver pack versions will begin to sprout coir.)

3,045 comments:

  1. haha! I'm sure any Delhi boy who's reading this is picturing Jhansi Ki Rani Kung-Fuing his ego to the ground!! Word of advice boy- go run to ur "mom-dad"! lol! My favourite blog so far!! :)

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  2. Saw a link of this post on facebook. Clicked. Read. And then spent the past couple of hours reading your whole blog. And I absolutely love it!

    I'm a Tamilian with a been-all-over-the-place kind of upbringing, so I find this post hilarious. But something that is pertinent at this point - I hate people using the word dark or black with condescension, something typical of the kind of person your letter is addressed to. I'm dark (a medium Indian shade on a spectrum of Kashmiri Bleach to Kanyakumari Black so to speak). If I were very dark, I'd call myself black without hesitation. The last girl I liked is dark. I don't have a problem saying it because I don't subconsciously look down at the colour or rather similarly coloured people, just as fairness is not looked down upon. If people have a problem with my colour, those bitches can lick me cuz I look like chocolate.

    But conjoined parents and Tandoori lip jobs take the cake for me. Did you say something like, "Bite me" ? He probably didn't get it. My jokes always suck.

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  3. It indeed holds so true for the Punjabi boys.I am working in jalandhar and I come across such sham cases everday...From their ostentatious "Kothis",to parking a Ford in front of their houses... and well to mention not even having slightest decency to not ask a person " how much is your salary" the first time you meet...Word of advice to the stupid Punjabi boys who think they are extra cool, rather than " marofing gedas" in your brand new car go and ask your mom to teach you some manners or I guess you need to go to Canada to learn that...

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  4. The generalization you have put dpwn about Delhi boys is true, as much as I'd hate to admitt it. And that was quite a funny read :)

    However, I'd like to point out a few things. I'm a Tamilian born and brought up in Delhi. And while I've faced many such issues that you talk about in the post - I hate it when people associate such things with their view about the city.

    There are many, MANY such people - men and women both - who harbour horrid notions of people outside of North India, and succumb to the most ill-bred stereotypes, but it upsets me when people like you who come from another city turn these experiences into an opinion about the city.

    The fact is, 99 % of the people who come into Delhi, bring with them a bag of stereotypes of the city. While a large number is true, the sad part is you guys take your first encounter and turn it into a full-fledged, life long opinion.

    Delhi is far beyond these people and such stereotypes. You'll find them in every nook and corner, but each city has it's evils. And I know your post is a rant of that evil, fair enough. I am just asking you to open your eyes and mind to the city.

    There's so much more to Delhi that what you heard and come at first. Let me know if you need help with finding that!

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  5. Oh my. Too many typos. But you get my drift.

    "There's so much more to Delhi thaN what you hear and come ACROSS at first" :)

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  6. A well written piece, was a fun read. I don't share a lot of your views though.

    Since this article alludes a lot of intellect on your part, I assume that you'd agree to this at least - Idiocy does not exactly require a geographical qualification.

    A similar blog could be written about a Chennai boy who paints 10 stickers (couple of them reading Ducati, Hayabusa etc etc) on his bike... Who thinks "Dhinka Chika" is a techno-trance club number...

    I don't deny the fact that morons like that do exist, but that shouldn't define a community...
    Yours is a case of a streak of bad luck"S" i would say...

    To avoid reiterating what the lady just said... i'd point you to read it again... :)

    Just to avoid any confusion... I am a North Indian(I so much wish i could say Delhi) guy... My PARENTS take their decisions together like adult people... My sis is a doctor... She lives and independent life... I would choose not to brag about myself.. :)

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  7. Ignore the typos... Or rather you can take a dig at that too :P

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  8. Hema Malini, Sri Devi and Aishwarya Rai with their natural banal looks couldnt find a mentally stimulating southie. they all chose a north indian as their life partner. Dharminder(Punjabi), Boney(Punjabi), Abhishek(UP). vekhi tour punjabian di? ;)
    And what about your accent "Yem Wo Yet another Wo Yen (MOON)"

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  9. About Me: Indian, not northy or southy....

    My personal opinion:

    I Agree:
    1. North's bias against fair skin
    2. Less Sense of security for women in Delhi
    3. Too much of Got-it, Flaunt-it n show off in north.
    4. More corruption being there in North.


    WHAT I find biased and baseless:

    1. Lack of freedom of women in north
    (Cm on, I can giv a zillion examples of oppression in South as well and what abt objectification of women in south cinema)

    2. More Beauty being there in South:
    This statement of yours is just the result of some lack of attention in delhi may be or ignorance. South has given timeless beauties but there is no dearth in North as well. I can even say that you may find someone more beautiful than Sridevi, 3 blocks away from my home in North.

    3. Punjabi accent etc
    Stereotypes are prevalent everywhere. You believe in them blindly shows your self-centric nature.

    4. Punjabi male ego:
    Well, what else to show male chauvinism, ego and dominance as depicted by the one man army shows and the sheer amount of heroic violence in south cinema. Every actor there is a Sunny deol and probably even more.

    All in All:

    I believe South n North have both got their flaws.. Pointing one of them based on your own experience is uncalled for and immature...

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  10. well to start with, I hv a lot of respect for south indian ppl.. they r good in many discipline..

    bt i hv 0 respect 4 this female..

    it seems tht she is some "not-so-goodlooking" woman somehow trapped btw ultra-hot chandigarh kuddis n she is crying for attention from the hunks in the group!!! feel pity for her..

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  11. allude->elude was that intentional?

    and rajarshi - LOLs!

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  12. HILARIOUS ..... Dear Delhi boy... for all those times you have said Madrasi and gone and told your friends ' bade smaart hote hai yaar yeh bandiya"....this is letting you know that we really are smart........

    I absolutely loved it ...

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  14. Dear Distressed Soul,

    Is that the reason Tamilians (Not a Madrasan, happy?) shout for a separate country altogether?
    Now you would say, "I do not have the same view". But, in the end, generalization based on few bald minds is what you live on!! That's farcical and stupidity of even higher level..

    Why don't we have a separate column about how ANY northie spends his life in Tamil land? The guys you referred to are particularly the stupid lot, but any non-Tamil, non-Southie person in Tamil land gets sheer "hatred". Why? Coz you are some one who has mastered cracking IIT? You preach hatred for your people in your land when we go there, and crib about others not being like you, coming to their land?
    Every community has flaws, but you just showed the flaw in your community - Hatred! Instead of the attempted stupidity you tried to display for others.

    Don't expect people to pray all day with "three layered chandan ka tika on forehead" every morning to show he is worthy of being an Indian like you.

    Respect every community, do not demean others based on scanty knowledge based on encounters with hulks.

    Regarding English speaking, learn to speak your national language first of all! English Brats..

    And for your information, am no Delhi guy. An unbiased person who have seen both Delhi and Chennai!

    Yours,
    Indian

    (You can call me that. You can ALWAYS call me by this name, I will never shove so many coconuts down your system that your little saver pack versions will begin to sprout coir.)

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  15. ^ I agree.
    Why are you being such a racist? Chill out. Everyone meets wrong people in life but we dont sit down and write a huge letter telling how it mattered!
    I think you need a vacation. Probably too much studying has caused this! Go ask your dad for a extravagant holiday, oh wait, you dont go on such holidays right? Its just us, northies! Too bad.

    Take a chill pill lady. Nice piece of writing but how I wish you weren't a racist!

    Proud Punjaban ( NO I'm not ashamed of being one unlike you, madrasan, oh sorry, tamilian)

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  16. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AvSbKAgqKI&feature=share


    That's all I could comment here, I am morally inhibited by my cross-cultural genesis to say anything more... :P

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  17. for all those who liked it: Thank you
    For all those who did not :well, meh.

    @Rajat: The video was hilarious. I am part maharashtrian, part tamil, part mallu, part kannadiga and I grew up primarily in Punjab and went to 13 schools all over the country. I am a born Hindu but a practicing Buddhist. I have a Muslim name and a Brahmin surname.
    Cross-cultural genesis enough for you? But with this letter I told my genesis to temporarily take a hike.

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  18. Shahana, this is a fantastically written piece. A friend IPed it to me, at work, in Bangalore. I see that a lot of Punjabans are overreacting already. But I love my good old racist (if you want to call it that) humor. You go girl!

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  19. I am pretty much on the same lines... Living in Maharashtra, part Bangladeshi, part West Bengal, Part Kannadiga, born and brought up in UP, with close relations with Gujaratis, Tamils and Malayalis, and lastly a Brahmin who doesn't believe in religion (blasphemy I know)....

    I do share, to a great extent your views, but yeah, the poor chap won't find his balls the next time he looks down... Didn't he scream Mercy (Trahimaam) in your imagination while you were penning it down ???
    Good job though....

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  20. By the way, I got this from a fashion (feshann) conscious Punjabi girl on my Facebook, who was very furious reading this... Wrote RACIST (in capital) for the link (ran low on vocabulary, understandably)... This is now making the rounds of popular websites... ;)

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  21. Oo really? which websites? Hum un websites ke links dekhne ko bade 'look forward to' kar rahe hai.

    Man, you just can't make this stuff up.

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  22. I dont agree to all of Shahana's views being a southie myself--Might be a tad too negative. But I have not lived in Delhi so cant comment.

    However there was this one comment that got my attention:
    it seems tht she is some "not-so-goodlooking" woman somehow trapped btw ultra-hot chandigarh kuddis n she is crying for attention from the hunks in the group!!! feel pity for her..

    You have no idea about how good looking this girl is: she has never had a dearth of male attention, even from the "northie" guys. And also due to her intelligence which the "chandigarh kuddis" sadly lack she got the attention from the men from other parts of the country too, not just the south..

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  23. I know... and the woman who posted this on Facebook as RACIST has commented here too... initials T W ... lol, what on Earth is a Chill Pill...

    By the way, Hum un... dekhne ko bade... is more of a Lucknow-i diction...

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  24. Now there is a battle ensuing between Southies and Northies, I wish you were on my Facebook... Haha...

    A Punjaban has asked you to visit http://www.maikaur.blogspot.com/ this blog in the next 24 hours for a reply to your post....

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  25. No i don't have the time sadly. I have to go try on some new wedge heels at a Delhi mall. My southie legs look way too sexy in them to give it a miss. Sorry.

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  26. Broken morning or heart? Your ahem 'letter' is an outpour of a 'Madrassan' with a serious complex. Haha. It doesn't take much to gauge what quality of male attention you've been attracting, this 'letter' is hardly one targetting dilli de munde, you've taken a dig at the Punjabi/Sikh family structure, us Sikh/Punjabi women and even our religious sentiments, (Guru Purab?)..Your family obviously brought you up the way most South Indians are brought up-bigoted, closed minded-oh yes, we aren't as caste conscious (if not colour!) as Southies like you are. Our men are way stronger, smarter and sexier than you aiyyos can ever be. Keep your Chidambrams et al in your part of the world, our bade dil aur dimaag waale Jat/Sikh/Punjabis can protect this country's borders, international interests and economic policy way better than you coconut curd eating turds.

    Yours truly,
    Punjabi Beeyatch.

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  27. So while you weaklings play chess and make 'science'..we idiots are busy ploughing our fields here and abroad, feeding the hungry (Equally!)-we don't stop anyone from entering our Gurudwaras, we actually have a concept of free 'sewa', something your long curly haired 'freakshows' wouldn't know shit about. We've watched our fathers and grandfathers work for this country-we've seen our generation lose out on a lot of culture that our forefathers built..don't you fucking dare mock our ancestors by triviliasing the exodus from pakistan you ungrateful, uninformed madrassan. What would you know about what it's like to lose your 'land' and family to NOTHING. Read the history of the sikhs, that is if you have the bandwidth to survive a culture shock before you grovel before the next 'Punjabi' you meet out of sheer embarrassment.

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  28. With respect to your parents, especially your father in uniform, if you're 'really' a desh ki daghter who's studied in 13 schools across this country and were even remotely brought up by Parsis or 'Sardars' I am shocked at the level of your argument and your sheer lack of understanding of the basic difference between the average delhi punjabi shop-boy variety and the actual Punjabi male with character and lineage. Yes Sucheta, Shahana maybe attractive but only to a particular type of punjabi-obviously haha. I was considering a longer response to your open letter, even wasting a blog entry and much energy over ripping some southie guts apart, but I wouldn't do that to a fellow army officer's daughter. Because no matter how 'cheap' and 'loud' we Punjabis are, we have a code of honor. Also, your 'attitude' can't possibly even parallel, let alone surpass that of an average, educated sardarni so don't even tread that dangerous lane of clubbing us Punjabi women into a segment- we fight for our rights, as do our extremely educated, working, mothers and grandmothers. Don't talk shit about what you dont know about!

    Oh and dear coconut top, loki vasde duniya che bathere punjaabiyaan di shaan vakhdi!!

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  29. Open hearted support to above three comments as a support against hate comments... The author sounded uncannily frustrated in her extreme "hatred" for whole of punjabi community. This is what outsiders get in Tamil land and she has shown it outright in her words. And its evident who all are setting "like" comments to the article.

    Just being associated with 13 different geographically placed schools doesn't make you judicious.

    As Missy posted, there are many activities that are carried by the same community that allows you to eat, sleep and walk in peace. The points you posted and especially the manner in which its portrayed displays an extreme narrow minded hard mentality of yours.

    Hope the geographically south positioned people learn to respect people out of their region. Half of those souls leave India for themselves, the whole of India is carried on mostly on the shoulders of North!

    @Ammu - The manner in which the article is written demands utter reaction even though am not a Punjabi. Such thoughts are "Terrorist" thoughts.

    There are some who spread love and there are people like you!

    And it between, a flirt comes up to please her!

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  30. humm...That's some serious rant...

    on a seperate note i was wondering, if Rajat S Mukherjee conjugated with Shahana, the child born would have been epic...just wondering....xD

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  32. Yes, that would be epic, the gene pool might even have an explosive reaction... Especially with the high concentration of diverse Dravidian genes and the high power Bong genes, it is a Mushroom Cloud in the making... Damn you Marcus aka Tale Twister, my fantasies are running wild, screaming Eureka.... :D

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  33. calm the fuck down ppl... to each his/her own..

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  34. Best of luck replying / ignoring all the comments on "debatable" topics like these.

    I did that too. I got shut up.

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  35. Very chilling+thrilling shots Punjabis of Delhi.

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  36. There's too much hate in, and generated by, your blog post.
    I bet that some north-Indians who had no anti-south bias before reading your blog, now do. Your article was one-sided, insulting and hate-mongering.
    I heard somewhere - If you cant say something nice, dont say anything at all.
    You should try it.

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  37. Hilarious read. I'm not saying all of them are like that but the next time some idiot who doesn't even know how many states his own country has, calls me 'Madrasi' I will castrate the bastard on the street!

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  38. very well written!
    i am a 'sardarni' born and brought up in kolkata and have lived in kolkata,pune,delhi and bangalore. i SO understand your frustration with 'the daali-ites' and i thank my stars everyday for having had a 'mom-dad' who shifted to cal soon after their wedding. however,having said that - i have also faced similar problems as a 'north indian' living in bangalore - for eg : being called a 'fucking north indian' by a well-dressed,well-spoken gentleman at The Leela Palace (for no reason of course),auto walla's ignoring me when im standing in front of their auto drenched in the rain -just because im not dark enough and don't know the language, one autowalla threatening to throw me out of his auto if i didnt stop talking in hindi and switch to kannada instead, my south indian colleagues in office standing in a group talking in tamil and kannada non-stop - in complete knowledge of the fact that i cannot understand any part of the conversation (and loving it!). oh also - south indian flat owners telling me that they cannot rent out their flat to me because i am not a 'tamil brahmin'and hence am not a 'suitable' tenant. huge,dark skinned men in shiny gold-rimmed raybans who get frisky at the sight of fair skin and mumble GOD-KNOWS-WHAT as they pass by on their bikes...
    the list goes on..
    but ive had innumerable pleasant experiences in bangalore as well and i LOVE the city nonetheless. So-as much as I identify with your pain :) i urge you to take a deeeeeep breath.....slap every idiot-man-child who tries to belittle/disrespect you IRRESPECTIVE of the city...and just do your own thing. delhi will always be crappy for a south indian and chennai will always be every north indians ultimate city of horrors. but theyre both a part of the same country and as irritating as things might get - do try and choose to NOT spread the negativity. choose not to spread the HATE. either that - or go live wherever you feel most comfortable and peace out,woman! :)

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  39. I see author is removing some posts, but I'll try my luck anyway.

    I'm a Punjabi but not from India, living in UK. Writing "stuff" for around five years now. So I see this as both hilarious and stereotypical. Though I don't want to disappoint author but I don't want to praise her either.
    Racism is not something to be praised.

    But this is a good read, bordering on frustration but it has a hopeful yet angry appeal towards northern India to respect their southern fellows and their abilities. I am guessing they are not treated well in northern areas. If that's the case, then it should be changed.

    I've got few Indian Punjabi friends and few Indian Tamil/Southern friends, behaviour wise I don't see much of a difference in both. Both have reasonable and unreasonable persons in equal proportions.

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  40. THAT WAS SO AMAZING!!!!!!!!! :D

    These hallo-madam-haww-arhh-yhew variety make me feel sick from deep within.
    You just voiced a million girls opinion.

    Wonderful :D

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  41. Man this is such a brilliant read, and i don't understand why people are calling this racist? She isn't saying she will never like/ a delhi/punjabi boy because he is to white! She is saying the generalized character of boys in Delhi suck , so what the fuck is wrong with that ? IF there was a punjabi boy who is smart and has manners etc then she obviously will not be spiteful to him. Come On guys we need to open our eyes a little more here and to tell you the truth i know some guys from Delhi who are exactly how she mentioned ;)

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  42. This blog is nothing more then an over the top stereo-typing of people of Delhi and full of sweeping generalized statements that hold little logic or truth.

    I don't know what the fellow lady's experience has been in Delhi but we shouldn't forget that bees are only attracted to a flower which has nectar, so i m sure if this girl has some bad experience with a certain section of delhi's lifestyle , then Delhi-tes shouldn't be blamed completely for that, this girl was that bee which might be there looking for nectar but faced an entirely different and unexpected cultural shock.

    The girl has to be blamed if she moved to Delhi with the mindset of a South Indian , there is a huge cultural gap between two areas and if the people who are boasting themselves of cracking IIT's and becoming intellectual workhorses of our nation doesn't understand or realize this , then they are living in a bubble of Illusion created by themselves , its a pity or a shame that these so called self-acclaimed intellectual cornerstones of our nation are delusional enough to not realize this huge cultural drift.

    This girl has no right to talk about Rights of women and to claim that women are shown more respect in South India when we have cases like Banglore Pub case happening on regular cases in Banglore and south Indian societies.


    She boasts of getting Born in a Matriarchal society which should be appreciated but then she forgets the very basic aspect that Caste based discrimination and Gender based discrimination has highest takers in South India only.


    Why would anyone want to marry her?? That's the most silliest assumption that girl takes and makes a total ass out of herself (ASSUME = Ass , u and me) , may be she has sharp features but she should understand Delhi guys have some standards !!

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  43. But when you do come to ask for my hand, remember I am part Maharashtrian and part South Indian and NO, they are not the same thing. So please tell your family, not to drop racist bombs like “Arey woh sab toh ‘Sawth’ ke hi hote hai na?” And YOU—don’t walk up to mother in an attempt to make flattering conversation and say shit like “Aunty you don’t look like a South Indian You are so fair” In return she will verbally Texas chainsaw massacre your face so badly, your dead Dadi will haunt you the very same night, telling you how fleeing Pakistan was less traumatic. So don’t. Better still just don’t speak. Just glean and flex your muscles a little and keep smiling. Just whatever you do, don’t talk.


    ..................................


    B.S 6 feet High, after reading this i m fully convinced that this girl is suffering from a huge inferiority complex, a huge cultural complex and she simply can't digest the facts that We as Indian although are one nation but we are a Union of different states with different cultures. She is not able to digest the way South indians are perceived in Northern parts of India and not just Delhi. Evn same is the case with Biharis and Bhaiyas of UP.

    Delhi , although has high punjabi population, but people of all religious and cultural background come here and live peacefully and no one has Whined and Cried like this girl has done in her blog.

    She needs a doctor and may be a few classes with a psychiatrist becoz she is clearly suffering and is being a paranoid and nothing else.


    the girl thinks using English slang really makes her blog look cool but for me she is just making a Fool, fool out of her and her silly assumption based theories which have no legs.

    I can understand the reason behind posting this Blog in this forum from a person who can attach himself to the feelings of this girl but then again this is a very silly and futile way of putting your shallow views forward

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  44. You may not like our food, but then we don’t like you, which is worse. We may not be even that into food, but then that’s coz we have other things to do with our lives, like crack IIT or become writers, journalists, activists and do things that we are very passionate about.
    ......................................................................................................................

    Seriously? This makes me literally rolling out on floor , for all the hunky dory around the intellectual greatness of South indians , please can this girl point out the contribution of South indians to IITs? or for that matter IAS?

    last time i checked the people of Bihar excelled at both levels and not South indians and i have personally experienced that. In my engineering college, we seldom had any south indian and my college is one of the top most in India. U guys take admissions in local colleges which has no repute whatsoever.

    For the god sake, bengalis are more intellectually worth then whole South indian combined , Rabindra Nath tagore and Ram mohum roy being the apt examples.

    And if u are talking about strength , why dont u talk about your contribution to Indian armed forces ? What have u done to establish peace in and protect india other then providing Indian forces with a headache called Prabhakaran !! How many medals have your region won in the wars ?? What was your contribution in india's Independence ??

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  45. You meet me at a friend’s birthday, talk to me about nightclubs and your new SUV and when I look like I’m in desperate need of a barf bag, you think I have an attitude problem. I understand this completely. But let me remind you that I am from SOUTH INDIA and not SOUTH DELHI, so no ,I am not scrawny, I am not fair, I don’t have straight hair and my topics of conversation go beyond the Fendi I saw in last month’s Vogue.

    ..............................................................................................................


    First of all are u a nectar that every bee will come humming its tune to you? If you feel offended to anyone's talk, why did u gave him the opportunity to start a conversation with you in the very first place? Does your intellectual brain doesn't understand the simple fact that Humans by nature are extortionists?

    You have a space for your own self so it becomes only yours responsibility to make sure whom you allow to enter that space, next time if u have issues like saying NO to a boy who meets you at some of your imaginary friend's party and speaks so highly about himself, I will suggest u to NOT TO GO TO ANY SUCH parties in future.

    Na rahega baans, na bajegi bansuri (Sorry i dont know its South indian translation)

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  46. i am a tamil 'madrasi' and couldn't restrain myself from saying - this is disgusting. please do not speak for all chennai-ites or south indians or 'madrasans'. i should be ashamed to be associated with the likes of you.

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  47. Respect Gurl!!!
    n those who don't agree.. coconuts up their rearpipes!!! :P

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  48. what about Mallu porn indutry?

    Now i m thinking that may be after watching so much Soft porn at there homes, Most dehities have a similar perception of South India women , a brand of women that is craving for sex at all the time, a brand of women that is lust and brand of women that can even sleep with his servant.

    this may reflect in the attitude of Delhi boys towards the Girls of South India , bcoz i dont see Girls from bengal crying and whining like this.

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  49. me! i've been trying to write this kinda blog since my 11th standard. You did it in a month. OUTSTANDING! real good stuff :)
    Feels real good to be a malayali :D

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  50. Loved It!!! :)

    GirlPower :D

    Loved this line even more "Just whatever you do, don’t talk" :D

    And yes their English..God Bless Them :P

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  51. Hey, just 2 words

    LOVED IT.... you nailed it and irrespective of what anyone says every tiny thing you pointed out is true.... We South Indians may have our own drawbacks but well not one person from the other side felt enough to blog write about it so to all of you "indignant Delhi people" too bad

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  53. @redforever_aman[ what a cocky name :-/] the more u talk , the more you are highlighting everything she just said.
    "Seriously? This makes me literally rolling out on floor , for all the hunky dory around the intellectual greatness of South indians , please can this girl point out the contribution of South indians to IITs? or for that matter IAS?

    last time i checked the people of Bihar excelled at both levels and not South indians and i have personally experienced that. In my engineering college, we seldom had any south indian and my college is one of the top most in India. U guys take admissions in local colleges which has no repute whatsoever."

    See :) this is what we keep talking about. but then you lot woudln't even be able to see the funny side of things. and what do u mean contribute to IITs?

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  54. This girl has serious issues. Itna dimag kisi useful chiz pe lagae to desh ka bhi kuchh fayda ho. She talks about ego, but check out her tone. So what if that particular guy dint do well.?? Agreed ;south indian chicks are HOT but dont agree to her point about them being 'smart' .what she says is 'duh'. Im stupid reading all that and commenting, i should be working!
    But if a get time I'll definitely write a para wise reply to this "open letter".
    P.s. I'm not a delhi guy neither making an effort to "explain you" anything.

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  55. sorry about the third person style,will explain later sometime!

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  56. Stereotype, yes. But what the heck! This is great!

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  57. yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!
    its awesome!
    loved every single letter you typed in their hottie!
    (P.S. Also felt it at times! :P)
    'yeh shilpa shetty jaisi lagti hai na!! :P
    sawth indian! ;D
    AWESOME!!!!!!

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  58. I'm Punjabi, but thankfully i spent my childhood all over the place, and i'm not the least bit like the way you've described them in this post. Then again, i must mention that the pseudo-punjabis from Delhi aren't the least bit like the genuine ones you'd find in Pathankot, or Patiala. Those guys, are actually worth knowing, and socializing with.

    Oh and I can't stand Delhiites either. They're a royal pain in the ***.

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  59. awesome!! kicked the "delhi boy" right in the butth0le!! \m/

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  60. i had spasms laughing my bowels out!!! HAHAHAHAHAH

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  61. The most hilarious and beautifully written post I have read in a long time. Greattt

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  62. Holy cow.... This is an Amazing Read....:)

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  63. Let's just put it this way ... how many people actually go to delhi in search of jobs? Now compare that to Bangalore?

    I cannot comment on people; they are hopeless everywhere.. but Bangalore as a city provides a better ambiance to work, chill, pursue you passions and be what you are!

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  64. wow...what a funny article???..just because u are an asshole,...just because Delhi boys dont even take a look on u(but they do at ur friends who truly deserve to be loved)...because u don't deserve...as u are black in color, U r trying to blame on Delhi boys..huh???..Delhi boys used to look or make love or what-ever it is with attractive nd good (having a nice figure) girls but not at u.. u dirty madrasi girls..They cant even go to sleep with u..because u malayalis and tamils are so much dirty..so after getting a jealous from ur friends (girls), u r just trying to blame on the Delhi boys with this article..

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  65. This is a delightfully witty read. I quite relate to what Shahana has written here.

    On topic though, I'm baffled that my countrymen actually believe that Hindi is the "National Language!" I hate haranguing about on this subject, but why should it be considered a "national" language? Official, fair and good. I don't intend to start a flame war here, but I've found myself condescended upon on a real consistent basis; something that none of Northie friends ever had to deal with. Ironically, they approve of the cosmopolitan Bangalore over the chauvinistic Delhi.


    And as far as the "English brats" are concerned, if I were to choose between two foreign devils, I'd rather choose one that's neutral in the grand scheme of things :D !

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  66. The Comments here were as funny as the article it self. Well there's always the north-south debate, and all of us have flaws.
    But this one's for people who want to tell the world and especially us 'south indians' that hindi is our national language... well, it is, but Both Hindi and English have Official Status in India. So its not really neccassary for us to learn Hindi, but we do. There shouldn't be issue cos someone cant speak a language and that goes for everyone.

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  67. @ Pritesh : Says who Hindi is the national language and why do we have to speak it? Are we any less India because we don't speak Hindi?

    Just to support my cause that Hindi is NOT our official/National Language.

    http://www.indiastudychannel.com/forum/14208-Hindi-NOT-National-language-India.aspx

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  68. Come on! I am a South Indian boy living in Madras (grew up in Kerala, worked in Bombay, Delhi and now Madras). I spent a year and a half in Delhi/Gurgaon and I disliked it intensely, but even so this one's too riddled with cliches, overstatements and generalisations to swallow. While there are a few points here and there that I agree with, there's so much else that's pure stereotyping that you lose your reader very quickly.

    I do understand that you must have had some truly awful experiences with some men in Delhi, and I know just the types, but like someone else said, there's probably more to Delhi than these assholes and perhaps if you take up that commenter's offer you'll meet some slightly more intelligent, sensitive men? I've met some utterly fantastic Punjabi women, and very very nice Punjabi men as well. Don't lose hope!

    I do hope your experiences in Delhi improve with time, and your views on Delhi and North Indians acquire the nuance that they appear to lack at the moment.

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  69. @sachidanand...rapidex english speaking course...fast...and you just reinforced the redneck stereotype

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  70. Everybody take a chill pill and listen to some good music courtesy "Madrasi's"


    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYdvISb36uY&feature=player_profilepage

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  71. ohk.... iloved it to the core..... some points are sooo true!!! but some should be taken on a lighter tone!!! as there are some wonderful punjabi guys out there !!! but this is fucking great!!! wonderfully wriiten!!!

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  72. hahaha - brutal! So how many "daali" boyz have you dated madame? ; )

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  73. Lol! Woman! I second, third, fourth and .... hundredth that! :)

    I just want to send this to those "Arre south me chai aur chapati nahin milti" types.

    Pzes

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  74. Shahana, Quite a hilarious blogging entry here
    :) Good stuff !

    However, I fail to understand why few ppl from the North (and elsewhere) think that HINDI is THE NATIONAL LANGUAGE ?
    How ignorant can they be ?
    Dear ignorant ppl, according to the Indian Law or Indian Constitution, India has no specific National language!
    So, next time you guys come down South, don't go about saying "Hey..how come you don't speak Hindi" or "Your Hindi Sucks".

    How should it matter where I am from ? one thing clear is that I am a Southie..

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  75. So true! I have come across just so many imbecile North Indian men trying to impress me with their 'Tolay-Sholay'. Ugh!

    And, you forgot "Let's go HAIR, babes" (here). Makes me want to cover my ears and run. Fast. Very fast.

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  76. This was so freaking hilarious, so much more so coz every word of it is so true. I can't even begin to imagine the frustration that was lay behind this post!

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  77. awesome daaa............u rock....

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  78. Why people let their culture/nationality/language/ethnicity define their identity, I'll never know.
    If someone only remembered you as a Punjabi or a Tamilian or even an Indian, it means you have no personality.
    And no, Hindi is not the only national language of India, and yes, English is one of the official languages of the country too.

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  79. @ Pritesh

    You say, 'Regarding English speaking, learn to speak your national language first of all!'

    Perhaps you ought to educate yourself on that little point before you self-proclaimed-ly, self-righteously start shoving a language in our faces that we don't have/need/want/like to speak, especially when we have our very own beautifully scripted languages down here.

    Still not following me?

    India has NO national language. Hindi is just the 'official language', a.k.a, its used to avoid confusion at an international scale. Nothing more, nothing less. Why? It just so happens to be the language spoken by the majority in this country (ooh, that explains how a lot of those other North Indian languages got completely obliterated), and unfortunately, it seems to me that this majority is just so abysmally under-educated or just plain ego-driven like the author so un-delicately put it to learn to let be and be. Ooh wait, that really explains how a lot of those other North Indian languages got completely obliterated!

    I'm a Bangalorean who's constantly running into Hindi where I ought not, and not to mention cars, motorcycles, and stack-em'-all-in-there apartments that have replaced our greenery and peace of mind with a desperate desire to restore the beauty that once was, but is now lost in the name of 'progress'.

    Oh right, Hindi has 'progressed' a lot down here. I guess that's what they meant by that.

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  80. pleasantly witty with a tad of experienced humour... hwever i dnt agree with all of it bt thn i also nt deny all of it...
    bt the way these cmnts r springing up... they make a super blog thmslf... :) :)

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  81. Yours
    Madrasan
    (Only I can call myself that. If you EVER call me by this name, I will shove so many coconuts down your system that your little saver pack versions will begin to sprout coir.)

    Love it...!!!
    A proud Malayali from Bangalore

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  82. downright fuked up man. too stereotyped and too much hatred for one community/class/region. i agree with most of the stuff about delhi boys but the comparison with the tamil or south indian boys is just in poor taste. exactly what we need in the world, more segregation and even lesser tolerance! good job :)
    personally i don't care about what part of the world you are from. Good and bad is within you. i am sure you are somewhat justified in writing this (because of bad experiences in delhi) but way too much aggression and judgement man. only reflects on thy state of mind shahana

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  83. to the blogger. it was funny. be proud of yourself and where you come from. but dont fight fire with fire. never is that wise.

    you seem racist and bitter in some of the things you say. and i KNOW delhi can be racist and everyone sees where that bitterness can come from. but be strong enough. dont bitch about a culture saying that they bitch about yours.

    btw, this is a punjabi living in chennai.
    however uncomfortable i get, or discriminated against i am(and TRUST me, it does happen now and again)
    i would never make the mistake you do and start shouting

    "dear chennai girl, go fuck a rajnikanth lookalike".

    that above line is filled with stupidity. and so is your post. its funny. but its stupid. because you're bitter..but this is how it comes out? think about yourself a bit. you should be more strong than this in life.

    i hope you get my point and take it on face value. :)

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  84. With all due respect, this was hilarious. I mean as a literary piece. But then the larger debate comes in and I thought probably this post I once wrote would be self-explanatory.

    http://thesubconscious-d.blogspot.com/2010/12/punjabiyan-di-shaan-vakhri.html

    So, I'm half Mallu-half Bengali, living in Delhi. I think Punjabis are brilliant despite their idiosyncrasies. But isn't that what culture is all about? :)

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  87. Me loves it! I was in Delhi for four years. Being a South Indian from Bombay, I had the same issues so I totally knowing where this is coming from, racist or not! You go girl, more power to you!!!

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  88. "Your South India counterparts may not have your looks" what is that about..?

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  89. Hats off to the sense of humour that the author is graced with!!

    But, the misdirected application of this gift came as no surprise. We come across lotsa gifted people who waste their talents. YOU ARE JUST ONE OF THEM!!!

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  90. this is not racist.. this is some well-deserved respite for us southies against the actual (and deep-rooted) racism that we face in the north, and worse, even down here! the next time i find a northi complain about chennai or 'madrasis', i'm gonna shove this piece so far up their ass, they'll regret ever being born...
    good job shahana, with you all the way!!

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  91. while I agree to quite a bit of whats been written, I think its blind bashing the delhi guys. A lot also depends on the attitude of the people which varies from goegraphy and tats the way they are bought up (not their fault really). I think the kind of attitude you have mentioned is of the guys who havent been exposed to the society or have just been in surrounding of delhi all their life. I know a few north indians who have really come out of this attitude.

    i think the south & north have their own 'good'& 'bad'. but common give the delhi guys a chance to change........ poor guys deserve it!

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  92. Pretty scathing indeed, i sympathize with your unpleasant experience may be for being at the wrong place at wrong time but, outside of Mumbai, Dehli is the only city worthy of the tag cosmopolitan. Chennai is not, neither is Begalooru nor Hyderabad, not even Kolkata they are just huge state capitals which covertly despises non native, especially if he is from the other hemisphere. Most Delhiites may be socially inept & unrefined but it is accommodating. Only Mumbai comes close, but from a distance.

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  93. ^ Oh really? You should come to 'Begalooru'. You'll go back with a new idea of what accommodating really means. But I doubt it. You'll probably not want to leave! :P

    And don't worry, we'll accommodate you too.

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  94. Hey Shahana, I loved your 'Open letter to a Delhi boy'. It's mentally stimulating :-) It's nice to see strong emotions oozing out in every line. And yes Joe Cocker's version is better :-)

    Hemant

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  95. You go girl!
    I loved this one... Hilarious!
    I'm sure it's for the delhi boys from the North and the South of the Vindhyas. And those in between ;)

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  96. wat a looser. girl go get a life.
    when u urself ashamed of callin ur self a madarasan then wat u expect from others.
    u attention seeking jerk, now that uve got it, better concentrate on something productive now

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  97. Did someone just dump you or something? Some guy from Delhi, maybe? Aww you poor soul! Take it easy!

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  98. epic!!! where's the like button on this thing?

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  99. nice blog.too bitter to taste.
    but what do you think all South Indian's are good to North one's when they travel to Your Madras?.. Think the other way and you may get your answer.
    The problem is when we Indian visits foreign countries we praise like anything even though we are living like hell there.This is the problem,people would even lick ass of foreigners but own country can not see any positive?.
    when we visit part of our country,we only complain and compare. "Like why they cant speak national Language "Hindi",why auto rickshaw charging North people high rates n bla bla bla."

    but we can praise other side of the coin also..

    about South India-
    Its not about black but Unclean?. cant you afford to buy one pair of chappal's,always barefooted.
    Delhi guys showing everything in T-Shirt but what about "Lungi"?.
    Your English-Tea-aa,Cofee-aa Bullshit-aa, Why do you add "aa" to every word?. you people speak only in keywords,forget about grammar.
    Which Madras you are talking about? where every family sends their son to outside so that they can get more n more dowry(GOLD) in marriages.
    and even after getting so much money cant serve anything beyond rice in marriages.
    Even earning large amount,can not buy a pair of chappel's?
    ------------------------------
    Above lines were to show you i can also b bad but no. Every place n people has their own identity.We can not expect everyone to be same,and what is worth living if everyone is same?.
    How would have been life if this Punjabi Ego boys has not protected you people from Ahmed shah abdali to Alexandra the Great.You are safe because Punjabi's were at WAR with others and even now. whether its Pakistan or Afghan nobody can reach you till we are alive n there.(Punjabi and Bengali were the highest in numbers who fought for Independence and sacrificed their life).
    But still we call Bharat Natyam as our National Dance not Bhangra.You are doing Bharat Natyam just because these Bhangra people are allowing you.GET A LIFE.
    Me--A born Punjabi,Heart left somewhere in Gujrat,Mind in Mumbai and now Body in south India..I m loving when i m staying in Chennai people are so nice.there are bad things also,but we can not always project bad.

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  100. Hahaha... Hilarious read, this shit could only considered to be okay if its based on sour personal experience! Else, God help the people who think on these lines!

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  101. @Vinay Somashekar
    You need not look any further, Delhiites can take any amount of criticism in their stride, well we are imperfect, that's a fact we accept, but you just cant seem to accept the fact that Bengalooruites are any less than perfect, or is not as cosmopolitan as Delhi

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  102. Madrasan - 1, delhi boy - 0,
    Kick ass stuff. literally...

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  103. well,
    what you wrote is a good read i must say.. However, i am not ok with the way you generalized every north indian or punjabi guy. I have been to chennai, hyderabad, Pune, bangalore and more cities down south. However, i have yet not generalised people or cities for the wierdo's i have come across.. trust me i can if were stupid enough, i could get down to your level and write a letter to a madrasi guy or girl (as you refer to yourself), and beat the shit out of you. i see a lot of samples here everyday. However, i know and understand pretty well that every society has a different mix of people. trust me, i equally hate certain people for being the way you mentioned. at the end of it all, it's you as a person, as an individual what matters the most. stereotyping is blinding yourself.
    n make coconut water from coconut,it's meant for that.
    love for all my good south indian friends.. n sympathy for others..

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  104. HAHAHAHA. I want to marry you. I'll wear a mundu, eat coconut chutney and hell even perform kallaripayattu in bed.

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  105. I saw this link on Facebook from a friend whose links I simply cannot resist.

    Quite badly written, but I'm glad that someone finally wrote this down about Delhi. There's a whole lot of truth in this. And yes, it's hilarious.

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  106. While fun to read, i think her tirade mostly re-hashed pre-existing stereotypes and general impressions, prolly exacerbated by personal experiences/rejections and 'grey-area' encounters w/ some Delhi man-child that left a weird taste in her mouth like those cockroachy looking elaichi things in sambhar sometimes do ;^]
    But her dead-murda-ukhaado-ing WAS smirkworthy,no doubt!
    [in southie accent]: Daffy-Knit-Lee!!
    As a Delhi-boy(NRI + a Punjabi to boot)..and the product of a decent Dilli 'edumacation'...i just wanna say don't be hatin' JUST on my old hometown. This crap is rampant in all of Metro-India. Southies want more Puma in their Uppuma too. Only so much[somewhat hairy] stiff-upper-lip typa crap we can take from a 'non-practicing Buddhist' wearing {fake} Bad Religion jeans. Juss sayin', swapna sundari..Be cool,yo!

    AND OH YEAH: mebbe this junior Ayi-Yayi-Yo-Auntyji is sooooo pissed coz her Nose points at her Chin ??!
    Well blame Mother Nature for THAT,not Mother India.

    ..ok ok i will eat some chettinad to celebrate the Tadka-of-Dilli-Ladka she lagaao'd :]

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  107. Look, I don't know who you are, but I'm a Tam Brahm born and raised in Pune. And I'm a boy. And I find this post absolutely apt and hilarious. Sharing it on FB, please don't mind. :)

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  108. @ Sanjay.

    I said 'accommodating', not 'perfect'. Big difference.

    And I can't comment on Delhi's cosmopolitan nature because I haven't really stayed there. If it really is, then good for you.

    As for Bangalore, sure, its got a lot of cultures, cuisines, MNCs, brands, expats, and what not. We even have a Metro service coming up.

    But Cosmopolitan? Nope! At least in my head, we're not even close to being there yet. Not until we streamline the traffic, get that excess dust off the roads, place garbage cans every 100m, perfect the footpaths, and get rid of bribery in everyday life. To mention a few.

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  110. Its a good read as a rant but can possibly not be taken more seriously than that. I remember having such sessions in hostels after a long day out on the streets.

    As far as male ego is concerned it is not geographically defined how I wish that it was as simple as that! Morons can be found everywhere in every shape and sizes also in versions that do not obviously fit a stereotype.

    Of course by writing this you are as guilty of the stereotyping as the people you seem to abhor. As surprising as it may sound but punjabi guys with man boobs can also have a high EQ and normal proportions of ego and sense of fair play in addition to all the accent and bad English!

    As for me I am a Bihari who was raised in Armed forces(and that believe it or not is a different world than all this north and south India divide!) married to a punjabi sardar raised in Delhi! and guess what not only do I have opinions and individuality I also don't shirk from expressing them :)

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  111. Wokkkaaayyyy I read it... Yannala Rascalllaaa...

    In fact I wrote a long comment over this, but unfortunately my internet connection disconnected while posting and I lost all the content...
    btw... could you please maintain a decent distance, coz im allergic to bullshit and coconut smell...
    in fact if i get a chance, i would screw that Punjabi guy you mentioned... not because he dumped you but coz he got such a filthy choice... bloody pseudo-intellectual...
    and I may not talk about Sridevi's nose now...

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  112. this is legendary!!and some of the comments people have posted here,the 'i disagree' ones are even more hilarious!
    this post depicts an extreme view of the 'northie stereotype',bit theres no humor if it aint stretched to an extreme :)

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  114. Im laughing my ass out on KOOPmAnDOOK's comment...

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  116. Did you expect these many responses?
    Very well written, though occasionally over the top.

    However, it was Daughter Desk Ki that really moved me.

    Chin up..

    Fellow fauji brat.

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  117. priceless stuff.. I'm trying to imagine the opposite scenario where a stereotypical Punjabi girl moves to Chennai.. She would be disappointed that the guys there care more about their own work and worse still, refuse to objectify her..

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  118. This is just plain simple murder. Brilliant. Just plain brilliant.

    Got a new blog to follow from now.

    Cheers
    A South Indian in Delhi

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  119. My, my that was venomous. Scathing!! And you are right on many points. I have seen many who match the description you have given and I have also met guys who are polar opposite. No region or people are perfect. But they can become better by trying to be better. Your post is a big slap on the face of the loudmouthed Punjabi who has an ego bigger than his petrol guzzling SUVs. Yes, Punjabis are culturally less evolved than the rest of the country. Punjab's culture is agriculture as I say. But this is a highly debatable topic and kudos to you for writing it.
    Anyway, I am a Punjabi born in Delhi, so therefore I am everything you and many of the people commenting on this post hate, nay, despise. All I will say is that each coin has two sides. I am sorry you saw the most ugly side of the city and I hope you will meet people who are well read and sensitive. :)

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  120. Love your post. It is everything that I want to tell those super tight jeans wearing freak shows. Open V necks only look cool on SRK, that too on screen, guys.
    But...(there's always the "but")
    "V-neck cleavage showing t-shirts that revel to the world that you have infact inherit..."
    "reveal" you mean?
    "Your South India counterparts may not have your looks, but are way more mentally stimulating, a quality that alludes you obviously, but has been the single most sexy factor for us Southie chicks since the age of five." "eludes" it should be :)
    Oh and also, Sridevi's looks are anything but natural. The net, or any old Filmfare will tell you that.

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  121. It is a hilarious yet informative blog where both north and south indians have lambasted each other.
    The best judge would be someone from outside India who should have been to both north as well as south India.

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  122. Yes, Iam a Punjabi...your post is hilarious...but not very well written...to present some facts to you...

    1. Tamil Nadu has the highest percentage of Caste based reservations...so you guys calling yourself intellectuals is funny!!

    2. Your state votes filmstars as chief ministers again not a sign of very intellectual people!

    3. Your Ministers have been involved in recent past and before in a number of corruption cases
    (A.Raja- T.N.)
    (S. Kalmadi-Maharashtra)
    so i believe if not less we are on power with your state in terms of corruption

    4. Tamil Nadu's Ex-chief minister M. karunananidhi is married to 2 women at the same time which in our side of the region is not very respectable thing to do. Also in my view it is not fair to the females involved in such a case.

    5. We do not believe in superstars like Rajnikant,, maybe that is a sign of the intellect on the southern part of the country.

    I can go on and on about this conversation...but i choose not to...
    If you find Tamil Nadu a better place then delhi you can comfortably enjoy your life in the DINKACHIKA,JAYA-TAK part of the country

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  123. Dear South Indian Intellectual beauty,

    Though i liked your blog which is well scripted, it makes me wonder whether its your experience or some superficial rumor which makes you write this?

    I am a 7 yr old delhite though originally from some other part of the country. Apparently and surprisingly, i haven't come across many Delhi boys (of course i dont count haryana in delhi) in the way u explain. I am happy that u are proud of the cultural heritage of south (an ex-kathakali dancer, i am too).

    At the same time i am worried about the 110 comments which appreciate your work. You just hit a rumour button, spreading not so right fact about a more advanced and sophisticated community. Its like saying all tamilians are veerappan.

    I shall also say (and maybe i am wrong) that this post also gives me the feeling that a south-indian (usually addressed madrasi) is trying to prove your supremacy over north indians in an intellectual scale - so untrue.

    When my state along with yours is boasting over the intellectuality, this state and its people worked practically becoming the most advanced in terms of living conditions and infrastructure. Forget everything, go to any city down south, the major revenue comes from small businesses head by a marwari or punjabi with many south indians working under him. A few years back the gurudwaras in chennai had some 300 crores to distribute free food in 'langar'. Which temple or church do that in your place. (i have stayed in chennai for quite some time)

    Also, delhi has a high popultion density of south indians, so, say one out of three of your 'delhi boy' is actually a south indian.

    Honestly, and i hate to say, this article was very once sided and derogatory on a community. But again this is my view and the blog is yours.

    yours truly,
    an ex-malayali, presently indian.

    PS: please be assured, delhi is as safe as any south indian city, maybe better. You want to venture into this place and feel insecure, we are here for all help and support :)

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  125. Well, the Saudi Arabian city is called JEDDAH, not Jedah.And well, I do get the point of this but aren't you being more racist than the people you are blasting anyway?

    And not that I disagree with you, but at the same time-the two times that I have visited Chennai, I've hated people for not giving a rat's ass about Hindi(our national language remember?).Most of you are no less than the French when it comes to learning languages that will get you the fuck through your day if you aren't living in the region you grew up.I could contradict most of the points you've made here but you're probably too racist to even attempt analysing them.Don't make it North v/s South.I've a Himachali and I've travelled most of this country, and racists are racists.Also, I've seen how you people are so lousy and dick-headed towards the Northerners(or the fair skinned people, as you say).And yes, I am fair.So shut the fuck up and write something logical the next time, we don't need another Arundhati Roy.
    "Muah"

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  126. Reverse Racism? Ouch.

    Well written, but its too difficult to take it seriously. I hope you find your regional romeo and lead a contented life.

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  128. @Nivedita: Typos shall be corrected asap. I should not be putting up first drafts. How very breaking story journalist of me.

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  129. Hindi(our national language remember?)

    WOW!

    Dear Procrastinator. I've said this before, and I'll say it again.

    Perhaps you ought to educate yourself on that little point before you self-proclaimed-ly, self-righteously start shoving a language in our faces that we don't have/need/want/like to speak, especially when we have our very own beautifully scripted languages down here.

    Still not following me?

    India has NO national language. Hindi (spoken by the majority) is just the 'official language', a.k.a, its used to avoid confusion at an international scale. Nothing more.

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  130. Thank you dear. You gave me the initiative to wear that mundu from home itself to office for the Onam celebrations at my office).

    Why not? Our women like our insecurities, our stupidities and moreover our genuineness.

    Thank You.

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  131. get your facts right girl.. We DELHItes understand that you have had bad experience, however if we send our folks down to your land.. the reactions are more demeaning than what you wrote in those multiple paragraphs shunning out your frustration. For a fact my cousin could not survive that south to north behaviour. We at-least are humble people who accommodate people from all parts of India and when we talk about this we have residential areas specific to various castes and communities(so you very well had a chance to find your own space out here too). My suggestion is that we should not stretch about topics of caste, gender and race, rather we have bigger issues in the country to deal with already. So, act as a nice INDIAN and co-operate. And remember you should give respect and then only expect to earn it out of other people.

    P.S. btw.. certain random selected words out of Oxford dictionary have not proved your learnedness to win over our simple straight conversations !

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  132. dear lil brat pritesh (indian.. i hope u are happy) .. hindi is a national language .. hockey is the national sport .. dare u play cricket another time and try and comment like that u freaking hypocrite.. i dont need to learn hindi to prove myself an indian.. there is a reason we call english our common language cuz it bridges idiots like us who wont learn each others language unless there is really something to gain from it..i'm a tamilian..not madrasan..i'd prefer bangalorean..and i loved every bit of your article..lady/madamoiselle.. if i ever get a chance to meet you.. i shall chase my wits to the world's ends to sweep u off your feet .. amazing article..the satyr was well researched not some random shit..of course for if it was random i doubt if so many ppl would have bothered to comment..keep up the good work..cheers

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  133. Hey there, you echo a million people's mind all over the world. this is perhaps one the best "letter"s i have ever read. all the best for your future. cheers :)

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  134. Firstly, Very well written. I like the black humour. But really, I have one problem, What you have described are the "Neo-rich Punjabis". Who are indeed just the way you describe them to be. Now I am not saying that my Dilli is as holy as the Vatican. Yes, It is more flawed than most cities, But your description does not fit into what this city really is. Every day 13,000 people enter this city with no intention of leaving. People come from all walks of life. And a lot of these have come from the northern state of Punjab. Now I don't have anything against the Punjabis. But the descriptions that you have given is more apt for them and cannot be used in a more general context. There is more to Dilli than black-tinted-SUV-blaring-the-song-Amplifier! I am surprised that a smart person like you would not notice that. Look beyond the negative aspects. The city has a lot of good to offer.
    Yours
    Dilliwala :)

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  135. Maybe our constitution should consider removing the word "secular" from it soon. Expressing oneself is the fundamental right of any human. But expressing oneself at the cost of others, it is as degrading as any arrogant thing you can imagine. I don't know but in course of time, we seem to have lost the values which seemed to be embedded with our souls. To get respect, we need to give it. Our nation(by that i mean the geographic location out of it, not the rigid national boundaries, not even the name "India" after all it is just a word) has given birth to those ideas and these have taken the world by storm(Buddha's teachings, Gandhi's non-violence mainly). Worse part, we have forgotten that practice and are charging towards a more what was a barbaric past(Before the Indus Valley Civilization). We should remind ourselves of the great "0", add everything up in this world, you will end up with a 0, if not you are not adding everything.

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  136. Agreed a lot to u baby.
    I bet compare any of the pieces in south to north. We are a head.

    And the word "yaar" donno who invented this. Horrible to listen. pls stop using dis.

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  137. Dude, please post your email? I want to send you your first fan mail.

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  138. I like how some of the comments from Delhi-ites/Punjabis are only confirming your views on their meagre intellect. Super post!

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  139. ^
    The reason for alleged mistreatment is the show of excessive attitude by northerners. I am one and sad to say that I can see northerners, specifically Delhiites, cursing under their breath at south indians, demeaning the food and customs. They do it everywhere: Mumbai, Nagpur, Hyderabad and Chennai. And I have lived in all these places just as easily as a native (other than Bombay, because of the MNS, but that's a different story).

    I just moved to Chennai and found it the opposite of what northerners had led me to believe: people are very courteous, very educated and helpful. Provided (which fails in the case of most "I'm too good for this place" Delhiites) one is amicable to begin with.

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  140. HINDI IS NOT THE NATIONAL LANGUAGE!
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/India

    It's one of the two OFFICIAL LANGUAGES of India. Get your facts right!

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  141. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes:P

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  142. MARRY MEE!!! I am so in luv wit u!!

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  143. Ha ha ha... enjoyed reading it... I could actually visualize things you said. Did you miss out on the food wasting habit? well, it pisses me off like anything,Any ways, looking forward to read some more posts. Keep up the good work.

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  144. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. this is brilliant. loved it. I'm in the middle of my diploma project, and in a complete rut. I came across this on Facebook, some friend of mine posted it. Read it. Laughed uncontrollably. then posted it to all my friends. I've just been inspired by an idea after reading this. Just thought I'd thank you for that. So thank you :) And again, love this artilce.

    Also, for all the peeps that seem to be getting so offended. Chill the fuck out! Everyones entitled to their opinions. And please it's not like the "northies" have never written or said anything about the "southies". It's all in good humour. Laugh at it if you think it's funny. Or just say fuck that and move on with life. Jezz. Drama i tell you, it's an "Indian" thing!

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  145. Dear Shahana,

    I wuld like to inform you that ur comments are extremely racist...Although im not from Delhi but such comments shows ur frustration...

    I am a punjabi n have stayed in Bangalore...I have more south indian frnz than northies...I have a lot of respect for south indians, their culture and simplicity but cant tolerate any bull shit against my community...

    Your comment will make ppl loose respect for south indians...

    You have spoken a lot about the treatment given to Madrasis in NOrth, but have u ever thought about the treatment that north indians are given in the south...u talk bout our Engilsh speaking skills, but what bout u guys speaking our own mother tongue...
    I have also been subjected to discrimination in south...so shuld i go bout shouting n blogging against south indians...we have many other issues than juss spreading hatred against ny community...

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  146. Hey,

    I do appreciate your willingness to share your thoughts on the community from Delhi. But may i remind you that Delhi is a very cosmopolitan city with a brilliant mix of traditions.

    Afraid I will have to agree with you that there are people in Delhi who fit the stereotype but there are many who are intellectually stimulating. A lot of Delhi students, i mean born and bred Delhiites, are IIT and medicine students. Also they are excelling at many other professional levels that are not even visible in the south. Hence branding them as non-intellectual is not fair.

    I personally am from the west of the country but got 5 wonderful years in the city. I have learnt a lot in Delhi that i could not in other cities of the country.

    You take care and if ever you do wish to explore Delhi for it lighter and happier side do try to open your mind and enjoy a nice city ride!!

    And for those who donot like the word 'yaar' first stop using 'dhaa' and 'machaa' yaar!!!!

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  147. Hey Ms. atleast Respect the Indian integrity and unity before writing such articles. You are an Indian first then a tamilian, haryanvi or punjabi.
    Your article clearly demonstrates that u are a south Indian first and then an Indian as u r cursing ur national capital only...
    Punjabis have their own family sys.,values and cultures so as South Indians. So if u cant enjoy their culture atleast dont curse them by your one bad experience...........
    so please delete it asap otherwise we wl be ending up in writing a whole book.........

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  148. @ Koolankur.

    Oh my GOD, which 'our own mother tongue' are you referring to?

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  149. hahah !.. Awesome !.. Gotta recommend it to many !..

    Way to go Ms.Sahana !

    -Sathia G

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  150. Well this girl just trolled everyone. The article is doing pretty well on fb. Good Work!!

    In this country controversy is what sells, no matter how baseless. I can do what you're doing and write about the kind of spitting and smoking shitfest that goes on at your part of the country, but I won't.

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  151. Well well well. Say whatever you like about delhi boys but Gurdaas Mann is a class apart sufi singer.

    Anyhow well done. The blogs is certainly getting readership.

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  152. Hilarious piece Ms. Shahana! Totally laughed my Guts out =)

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  153. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  154. First of all, a great read! Had an awesome laugh! You write very well!

    The content though, could have been much better. A tit-for-tat (bloody lucky tat!) is not the answer. Hatred, if returned, can only grow.

    I was born and brought up in Chandigarh. Stayed in Chennai for 4 years, as a student in IIT Madras (even north Indians crack the JEE! :P ). And although it wasn't pleasant at first, I came to love the place. Easily the best 4 years of my life.

    As for the racism part, northies also get some sore treatment in the South (elaborating them would make this comment unreadably long). And the lesson I learnt was "All people are not the same." There were bad southies and many good southies I encountered...

    All cultures have their pros and cons. It's being flexible and tolerant that counts. That's why I loved "2 States" by Chetan Bhagat. Punjabiyon aur Tamilians, dono ki mast maari hai!

    Peace!

    - Not a Punjabi, not an Indian, call me Jaskirat... :)

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  155. OH MY GOD!! This blog is BRILLIANT! It applies not just to the Delhi boys in Delhi but Delhi boys all over the world!!!!!!

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  156. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Thank you for this post, this is one of the most amazing things I've read in weeks (or maybe it shows the racist inside me who thoroughly enjoyed your northie-ass-bashing). (Most) Delhi boys are probably the most arrogant, ignorant and stupid community ever, led down the drain by their dad's SUVs and their mom's Rajma "chawl". I guess the worst part is when they themselves go to South India looking for jobs and business, still criticize and mock the locals, out of their infinite ignorance, of course. I hate to see them wearing their embroidered jeans and print shirts, roaming on Brigade road in Bangalore and on Marina beach in Chennai. They come to Chennai, refuse to learn Tamil and as if that wasn't enough, they talk in HINDI!! Oh and the bafflement on their faces when people don't understand them and cuss at them when they speak Hindi. They keep cribbing that there is no night life and activities, when they don't even know about the December festival. To keep things short, they are just a bunch of ignorant fools who don't know how to live life any way other than the one they have been taught.

    Keep the northies out of the South, I say!

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  157. Bullshit!! The highest infidelity rate is in Tamilnadu even greater than Punjab and Gujrat.
    Moreover u r talking about gender equality, in chennai Guys and gals are from different planets, cant even walk side by. Colleges have different busses for boys and gals, even separate footpath in the colleges, even some colleges have a rule of not talking with opposite sex. Further, if a guy sits on an empty seat which is reserved for ladies, it is looked upon as a criminal act.
    One more important thing in your matriarchal families, it is not possible to marry off a girl without providing ample gold and your lovable AMMA (CM) confirmed the same by announcing free gold to poor to marry off their daughters. That of course would come from the taxpayer's money.

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  158. Spread love, not hate!! We indians have much more important stuff to worry about. Arguing among ourselves doesn't accomplish anything.

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  159. i wonder if every person who has opposed to the stereotyping in this article goes to every article on the web to teach people about living peacefully and blah blah blah.

    get the joke and move on.

    note to self: i cannot believe my name is Lord_Ashwin. how long ago did i make this account ??

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  160. Shahana, I guess you should not have stereotyped stray encounters to an entire geography (would not mention 'community' here).

    While your cross cultural exposure and lineage is fully appreciated and clapped for, probably they all turned into an Epic Fail the moment you posted this.

    Rapists, hippies, paedophiles, drag racers, wannabes, body builders, wife lynchers, nerds, junkies, IITans and wankers exist everywhere and random encounters always come with a caveat emptor. Let the buyer beware, rather than cribbing over the internet, later !

    Just for the records, i neither belong to North, nor to South by birth but these are the places i had spent the majority of life in :)

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  161. I support swetha ramakrishnan on this.
    Plz stop creating stereotypes and stop being regionalistic.
    Its such a shame coming from a girl.

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  162. I have nothing much to say...just this....
    http://in.news.yahoo.com/blogs/boxpopuli/movie-star-darshan-real-life-outrage-114536152.html

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  163. Hahaha.. Nice read. I'm using this post as a means to scare away my friends here in IIT delhi.. [ not seriously though. :D ]. *Beware.. there's girl who can stuff coconuts up your arse* XD

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  164. Holy crap!!!! 152 comments so far(no patience to read em all).... well I guess regionalism is worth spending more than a couple of words. Am of marathi origin and a golt+tamilian+ kanadiga mix in my own way and live in Dilli............ wonder what got you so pissed off to write this, but am sure it was a just reason. Honestly everyone's a freaking fascist pig, and what you have written only solidifies that disparity. At the risk of sounding unpatriotic, everyone in this nation thrives on division and this particular post only proves how uncompromising and insensitive all parties involved have turned. All that put aside, hope the low cleavage boys prove to be some fun for you at least :)

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  165. haha.. its hilarious! her letter to the delhi wala. the delhi walas jawab!! the support from others.. everything's hilarious.. however fair or dark.. we're all just brown anyway.

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  166. A serious note on the discussion - In the race for the developed nation status ,first we need to understand there is no major difference between North Indians(NI) and South Indians(SI). The tension between the wrong Aryan-Dravidian ideology(Harvard-MIT research) can result in collapsing of our nation. It is interesting to know that eventhough Delhi is the capital of India and a cosmopolitan city, it is having a very narrow mind. Delhi mainly accommodates the earlier Rajputs, Turks and Baniyyas settled with their successive rulers which were later added with Punjabis during India-Pakisthan partition. People including media over here in delhi always tries to mock SI who strictly follows their culture, portraying Sardars as a gull and the famous fair Chinkies to be treated like a hooker. But it is difficult to find most of them following true Indian culture or believe in it or atleast stop offending. Here I sounds like a prejudiced SI, but you will find in later passage that I am not. In Dilli, I have found in many instances that eventhough I have put forth the fact that Aryan-Dravidian divide is a myth with facts, NI people here doesnt agree and declares themselves as descendent's of Europeans and still they treat the good old Brits as superior , considers their culture as the best and thus embracing it. Even the black among North Indians(NI) calls me as a black (may not be a racist remark) since I am a SI eventhough I generally belong to the fair category in India. There are instances where one of the NI have even made a comment that "All South Indians are not Blacks but all Blacks are South Indians" hmmmm ...is that a racist comment similar to "All Muslims are not terrorists but all terrorists are Muslim"..wtever!!!. But at the same time I am not blind towards what South/central Indians racist attitude in Mumbai , ostracizing North Indians. A cynicism is developed among both the groups about the others progress. When taken into microlevel , it is originating from their EGO and people take each achievement as a regional based rather than nation based or in a higher perspective not in a humanitarian based. Regional based competition is needed for progress, but it should be a healthier competition (Even I have wrote a blog about achievements of Kerala, but not by denigrating any other state/region.) Our nation had earlier survived these divides with the power of our culture. Even though there were tension among various groups in India earlier also , the solutions also existed in meantime in our culture which were embraced globally at that time. Our culture propagated the best ideas of "Athithi Devo Bhava" and "Lokha Samstha Sukhino Bhavanthu" which now an Indian proudly says to a foreigner not to his Indian brother from other region. Base of all these is people are not acknowledging their own culture , their own people. Our culture has lost the luster.


    So where have we lacked?
    Communication.


    The drawback which I can comprehend is the lack of interest by the media to expose the true qualities of South Indians to the north India. South India is not only about Dosa, Iddli and the south indian cow boys, there is a lot to explore and the vice versa. The people in South India always interpret the culture of whole North Indians is similar to the one in Delhi or Punjab. The media especially the news channels, movies, news papers which have lot of viewers/readers has to give priority to slowly incorporate more cultural news(both SI and NI) in their medium . This will allow both urban and rural population to have more visibility towards the various Indian Heritage culture and thus assimilating the best of all.

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  167. Just for Laughs...
    http://testimonialcomic.com/?p=551

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  168. i must say.. extremely disappointed on having read this piece.. more so because it comes from a defence officer's child... a community that encourages people from all sects - caste, religion, geography being treated equally...personally, because i belong to the same community, i truly wish the writer would have practiced some restrain.. the intention was obviously not to write a harmless satirical piece on delhites 'coz some hard words have been put to use... ridiculing one's upbringing, their families, their religion??.. i must say... i believe you are all of 24, n it shows!!... for the record, i'm a naval officer's child... born in kochi.. or more precisely ernakulam... spent half my life in delhi and half my life elsewhere - ooty, bangalore etc.... delhite to the core though... entire family migrated here at the time of partition... i have fond memories of all places I have lived at... n some horror stories from each as well.. including delhi... each city has its pros and cons.. n that's true for cities across the globe... coz each city has its own personality.. n just like individuals... no city is perfect... muck slingin will get you nowhere... coz b rest assured.. theres enuf ammunition for both parties if you want to bring it down to that... dont be so proud of ur achievements while u ignore those of others... if uve been crackin IIT, abhinav bindra,vijender singh, sushil kumar have been turnin the heat on at the olympics!!... last i heard no one from Tamil Nadu ever achieved anything at an individual sport at the Olympics!!

    My humble submission to you Shahana.. you can spend your life letting frustration about what you don’t like get the better of you and thereby breeding hatred.. or you can spend it looking for the good in people and places and joining them in enjoying those interestin traits... if you haven't seen the good in Delhi yet, it’s probably bcoz you haven’t tried hard enough.

    I ended up reading your blog bcoz my best friend - a mallu, gave it a thumbs up on fb.. n i wud have loved to laugh along with him at the idiosyncrasies of us delhites.. but alas, i found ur writing to be extremely immature, judgemental, acerbic and disrespectful... i can laugh my guts out at a russell peters mockin n generalizing people... coz that's in jest.. ur content on the other hand, for lack of a better word, is plain simple rubbish!!.. truly hope it gets better with experience.

    Proud Indian & Proud Delhite

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  169. i feel you are narrow minded..closed..stereotypical and believe that every delhi boy is a bratty punjabi..i wont curse out of courtesy..but please, i must say you have met the wrong people in delhi and by readin your article i believe that you yourself must be a pompous brat for having found yourself n letting yourself remain in these useless and stereotypical situations..grow up n being n indian specifically make yourself more tolerant because thats all that can save this country..discrimination goes both ways..it is only for the foolish and weak

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  170. and i must add im a mix of cultures includin bein from the south..none are special or more cultured..these are all vague opinions

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  171. Can I just say I loved it? So used to 'you southies' being bashed, that its interesting to see 'northie bashing' for a change ;-)

    Having said that I think too much generalisation is not a good thing. I know Punjabi guys who are real GEMS :-) and treat women with a lot of respect. Just the same, I think Indians are the MOST racist people in the world. And I'm talking of ALL Indians, not just north/south. Atleast that is ONE thing we are united in.

    The one thing I absolutely HATE is this particular remark: '...you don’t look like a South Indian You are so fair...' .. WTF!!!!!!!!! Its like saying 'you can't be a north Indian .. you look so sensible and humble' (with no offence to all my lovely north Indian friends :-)).

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  172. @Rise Against Bollocks
    Somehow 9 out of 10 people I meet from Delhi (boys and girls) are not just bratty but unbearable. And they have invaded my favorite places in the world recently: Bombay and Goa.

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  173. bloody hell this is so coolly written.. n i totally agree to the writer s views!!

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  174. stop spreading hatred girl. even if you don't like certain people you have met, you can't generalize and put your blame on an entire community.
    people like you are the reason why there are racial riots in india.
    and whoever told you that english speaking is the most important thing, please learn to speak our mother tongue properly for once.
    just call yourself a madrasan. please don't ever in your life call yourself an india. because it is people like you that we feel ashamed to call ourselves indian.
    and in an era when people are talking about globalization and concept of one world, one people, people like you are still caught up in small thinking of racial discrimination.
    i have a lot of south indian friends. and i would never say they are like you, just as narrow minded and are here in delhi on a mission to know about punjabis(and your lack of knowledge about delhi didn't help you to know that there are just equal number of bengalis, marathis, gujratis, kashmiris living in delhi. but since you had decided to spread hatred against one race only, so you chose punjabis) and spread hatred about them.
    your post is doing nothing except dividing people. even those who wouldn't hate people from other race would start doing so after reading your post.
    and you just crossed your limit by writing that getting an sms about happy gurupurav effected you.
    in a country where diwali is celebrated just as cheerfully as id and as christmas,it feels sorry to know people get effect by being wished for a festival that's close to sikhs.
    india has other problems to worry about.
    one serious suggestion, write something about real indian problems like poverty, illiteracy, terrorism.
    stop acting like a terrorist on blogs and spreading hatred among groups.
    you infact are worse than a terrorist who throws bomb at a mass, kill them in huge numbers and remain silent for few days.
    hatred spread by you seeps in inch by inch everyday among groups and divide them.
    you BLAH! attitude isn't healthy for world's largest secular country(if you even understand the meaning of secular).
    if you have slightest of shame and even a tinniest drop of indian-ness in you, you should delete your post before it spreads more hatred and causes more tension in an already disturbed country.

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  175. For all the haters here, come on, go get some sense of humor....

    My dear Shahana,

    Nice write up, great humor sense... Keep it going.

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  176. take some time out from blogging, listen to some john lennon, smoke some pot and you'll do just fine !

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  177. EPIC. Truly epic. This has encouraged me to kick start my own blog again. Had to bookmark this page though. Simply couldn't go through all of the comments in one go. If the post was funny, the comments are even better. Simply a "athiradee: post!!! :P btw got 'land of lungi' stuck in my head.. :D

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  178. Looks like some "Delhi Boy" left this poor girl hurtin :D its okay, u wouldn't be the first :P
    But hey, a nice way to vent nonetheless :) Well written, although I do prefer the much more authentic saaauthindian sarcasm of localteaparty...
    Meanwhile, u can go read gkhamba :P

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  179. Super Racist! Yet Funny! But if Frustration is still burning your cells deep within, do consider Arka's advice. :D

    Cheers

    (Seems I should aptly sign off as)
    My name is Jha, and I am not a Punjabi :P

    PS: Be careful! You could prosecuted for racial comments over electronic media. This is a world where "Monkey" is more disrespectful than "Maa ki..."

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  180. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  181. My humble reply: http://akhil.me/2011/open-reply-of-a-delhi-boy

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  182. While ranting against stereotypes that 'Northies' hold about 'Southies', you have obviously formed your own very strong and deep-set stereotypes about 'Northies', Panjabis and Delhi-ites. Coming from a defence family myself, I am surprised that this kind of an attitude and cultural superiority complex breeds within you after changing 13 schools. Shruti @ 10.47 am also says the same. She'd be quite surprised to discover that you come from that very same 'different world' and yet have such ideas. Unless, of course, you did not mean all of this and it was all only in jest. One would expect an Army Officer's daughter to know just a little bit at least about the immense glory of the Sikh, Panjab and Rajputana Regiments, which consist mainly of North Indian hard-working, down-to-earth, patriotic men. As far as I know, there are a lot more Panjabis in the armed forces than there are Tamilians.

    I especially loved Atikaa's level-headed response, and Missy Baba's comments (which should make a whole blog post, which, if you would take out the the time from your very important, highly intellectual activities and read, could maybe teach you just a little bit more maturity).

    Most 'Southies' don't speak flawless English either, and their pronunciations are far from perfect - so your point there is nothing more than your severe superiority complex shining through, and most of the ones who do are inflexible, conservative, rude, disillusioned and constipated. Come back to Earth, child, and look at people for who they are, not just for who you see them as. Speaking English well does not make a good person. In my experience, Delhi-ites are definitely much more open-hearted and welcoming than snooty and rude Bangaloreans (though Bangaloreans have their own advantages over Delhi-ites, obviously). You do seem quite snooty yourself, seeing your 'Meh' to all who don't share your disturbing opinion.

    Anyone can draw stereotypes and generalizations about any caste, religion or community, but never ever in the history of India has it ever served a good purpose - it has nearly always led to bad blood (also expressed by lonely nomad). You should understand the importance of national unity and hopefully refrain from such unpolished expressions of your frustration. As I have read in some of the comments, you embarrass your own kind too.

    I'd like to point you to Smith's comment also (assuming your conceited self is actually bothering to read my comment). Delhi does have a lot more to it than just the people, and the people there have a lot more to them than what you choose to see. D also has something potentially eye-opening to point you to. Unknown at 10.16 am says the same. Aameen Johal makes a similar point in her comment.

    Looks like this post has gone viral.

    P.S. I'm not Panjabi. And I love Priyanka Chopra. And just in case you think I'm a Southie-hating Northie, I love Chettinad cuisine, every bloody thing about Hyderabad, Aditi Rao Hydari and quite a lot of other stuff from the truly amazing Southern states of India.

    @Vinay Somashekhar: In my experience of living in Bangalore for 7 months so far, it is not half as accommodating as Delhi. Especially the immensely rude and uncouth auto-wallahs.

    And all those comments in agreement with this girl! Shit, where is this nation headed?!

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  183. Biggest. Trollest. Circlejerk. Ever.

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  184. I wonder how the author has time to delete some comments but none to reply to some important questions raised in this blog here????

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  185. funny how all the haters here are commenting on how you could have used your time in something productive :P

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  186. Haye Rabba! Ki ho gaya es janaani nu?? :O

    Dear Author,

    Please get your facts straight and do not generalize just because you have had the misfortune of meeting nothing but Dilli wala douchebags. Such a misinformed, racist rant! Will you please just chill? Gosh!

    You do write well though, I'll (very grudgingly) give you that.

    - A fair-skinned Punjaban with straight hair. Incidentally, also well educated and can talk about things other than Vogue, Fendi, Prada, etc.

    Thank you.

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  187. This post is pure irony (and bullcrap, and funny). You condemn/make fun of most of the characteristics you are displaying.

    It is hard to believe that you come from the defense community.
    Seriously, chlorination of the Indian gene pool is needed and you should be first on the list. Our country can do better without people like you.

    No wonder 'curry smelling' Indian get attacked in foreign lands. It is people like you(I'm not limiting the scope to south Indians) with their attitude problem, people who form a ghetto out of their own community.

    I have as much respect for South Indians as I have for the rest of my country men. I'm not a punjabi but I have been living in Delhi ever since I was born. I love the city. Most of my friends are from the defense community and really you are a disappointment. Ask your dad/mum to read this post of yours. I'm sure they'll feel the same.

    Clearly, you are frustrated with lot of things in your life.

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  188. You are in dire need of a doctor. Get a life.

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  189. You are also very superficial, judging people by their very superficial traits - their language, mannerisms, expressions. Try and take a look beneath all that, maybe you'll find some really wonderful and lovable people. I have.

    You're the only loser if you dismiss people who can't speak English as well you, or aren't as well versed with the customs of the elite class as you are.

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  190. It was an amusing post. The reactions it brought out were better. Good going!!

    and chill out. :P [that, I couldn't resist.]

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  191. What a very sensitive lady you are Ms Shahana, 'your dead dadi will haunt you', hilarious indeed. Your piece, while extremely stereotypical and also completely ignorant of some of the very wonderful facets that Delhi is quite abundant in, is also so full of these contrived pieces of yawn inducing 'humour' that it makes me wonder what you are receiving such laurels for.
    But somehow I have laboriously managed to finish reading this painful piece so as to redress the balance I see in these ridiculous comments, from both 'Northies and Southies'.
    I do believe you're one of those people those in the North feel are 'self-important, stingy, strangely accented, and in possession of the worst table manners, if you can call them that, known to mankind.
    I know, ouch right?
    So really, think before you shun half the population of India in your next 'piece of writing'.

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  192. completely agree with kk.. n 4 those who believe this is a humorous piece.. i truly wish it had been... but it's not.. its bitter n aggressive.. 'You may not like our food, but then we don’t like you, which is worse'.. thats not humour.. thats aggression... n d non-stop rant about bein more intelligent!!... sounds like the thoughts of one with the maturity 'of an autistic 3 year old'!!

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  193. Shahana might be wrong in glorifying everything about Chennai, but is certainly not wrong in denigrating everything about Delhi. U can keep shouting about the incorrectness of stereotyping a whole city, but then how do u define a city? I have no doubt that all of u intelligent and sophisticated ppl. posting here dont even possess an iota of the characteristics she mentioned, but am equally sure that u belong only to 10%(or at max. 20%)of the total population of Delhi(if u all belong to Delhi). I am ready to typecast a city on the basis of how the remaining 80% of the population behaves. It is not difficult to see. U can conclude about many of the mentioned characteristics by just observing the behaviour and mannerisms of ppl. while u r on a casual stroll.
    How many of u would stand up for the right traffic rule in front of someone driving an SUV?? U will AVOID the situation for fear of being a victim of ROADRAGE. every single one of u. looks like an unrelated situation?? not really.Such behaviour talks about the overall psyche and leads to the characteristics the girl has talked about. Accepted that not everyone wud come out of the SUV and bash u (or shoot u)but u avoid an imbroglio because there is more than 50% chance of it in your mind. Enough to define a city.

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  194. @ Kunal

    Nobody likes the auto guys here. Not even me. We even staged an auto-bundh for a day, but to no avail.

    And sure, you've been in Bangalore for 7 months now. But the fact is, you don't know a thing about Bangalore. The Bangalore that was 10 - 15 years ago. Not the slightest inkling, really. There was decency and peace. And happiness. And then rained the hordes of people from the North who have absolutely no inclination to gel with the local culture and live in harmony. Now, more than 60% of the population here are you guys, and you have the cheek to tell me that we're not accommodating?

    The truth is, people are just pissed off at all the Hindi being shoved in our faces even though a lot of us do not understand the language, all the baseless superior attitude being thrown around, and all the indifference and ignorance shown towards the language and the culture that we treasure. So I'm sorry if we do not embrace you bhais and behens with welcome arms anymore. If any of you Hindi speakers made even the slightest attempt at learning Kannada, things would be very different. I was in Italy for two years, but I did not go around parading English just because its the most commonly spoken language in the world. I learnt Italian, and loved every word of it. And they loved me for it.

    Harmony in being accommodating is a two way street my friend.

    So yeah, if you feel that Bangalore is not accommodating you anymore, please, by all means, return home.

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  195. your diatribe has some very good points in it, but it is applicable to just about every man/woman located just about anywhere in India these days.

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